problem, too long.

ahhh... man i cant think of anything better to do. its been quite a week for me. 31. number beyond anyone's imagination. but it has to go on. failure is the mere delay of success. im glad my family is supportive, they know im worth much more. my mum doesnt.

i dont know what her deal is, but i want to leave her as she is. let her clear her mind on her own. i dont want it to affect me even though it is, and make me all emo and teenage-angst. all i can say is think of Allah and cheer up.

ermmm..... im quite interested in trying to write songs. it brings the thrill feel in me, but as always i think that its just gonna be bullshit. i did try writing one though. it is called 'Keep We Beating'. its about living life, with who you are and the people around you. and picking yourself up or pick someone else up. and loving everything you've done with everything. dont consider of what to come, dont contemplate on what has been. live it now. i know it sounds tacky. but its a start. i havent thought of a tune for it yet, but if i open up to some friends i'll see what they can think of to collaborate it to a full song. i think it'll be difficult. how the lyrics are. you'll get the lyrics soon. they've got meaning and some links to other songs i've heard. i guess it is an expression and a way to communicate beyond pencil and paper or just talking. i hope i get better.

okayyyy... uhhh. my dad gave me a diary. its brown and looks pretty cool. he gave my sister a Mont Blanc Diary. Mont Blanc!! how could he? but its really nice. i wrote the song in there, but that was on the second page. on the first page is "The Art of Self-Mind Psychoing." i havent quite explained this popular and deep term i usually use. try to collate this explanation into the phrase. its to push yourself, withstand the pain, coax the body, reach to the mind of the heart to do, get, achieve what you want no matter what the cost. to earn what you desire. to accomplish. that is the Art of Self-Mind Psychoing.


i guess this will do for the time being. have plenty to talk about, friends, work Arcane Sounds, Cryptic Death and lots more lah. piss out.